Have you guys ever seen the old war movie Dr. Strangelove? There is a particular scene in it where the main characters are in the "war room" - essentially a big conference room with huge boards all around. the famous quote "there is no fighting in the war room" came from that movie. Anyways, I had my own experience with a "war room."
Starting last week, I have a meeting every week until I leave that outlines the status of KBR in theater. Lots of fun...well, the first time i walked into meeting room i was speechless. it looked exactly like something out of a movie. there was a big conference table located in the front center of the room, and then there were five levels of auditorium style desks/chairs with about a million computers on each level. the room also had numerous projection monitors on every wall that displayed various things. Walking into the room was numbing. you think you are going to meet the president of iraq or something like that...well, that was not the case.
the conference table in the front center of the room had name tags for people. I had a chair at the big boys' table (something a Lt should never want to have). So there i sat, still awestruck by the massive room with all the computers - waiting for the meeting to begin. They call it a fusion cell meeting because it has all the key players for integrating the contract taking and prepping for future actions.
How do you think a meeting would go if all the big-whigs sat down at a table? smooth? easy? coherent? If you say anything other than chaos, you would be wrong. I have never seen so many high ranking officials argue, point fingers, and blame other people for the most minutia things. and to top it off, the people operating the millions of computers in the stadium seats above us are carrying on their own conversations. no one can clearly hear what the other person is saying...and no one seems to think there is a problem...
overall, my impression of the "war room" is nothing more than a place for things to get stalled, lost, and forgotten. how does anything ever get done over here?
Monday, June 7, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Slow Drivers...
I have a car out here. Its great. I am able to get to the places i need to be without worrying about the bus schedule or anything like that. But there is one downside to driving out here: EVERYONE HAS FORGOTTEN HOW TO DRIVE! i never thought i had a problem with slow drivers, but i have come to the realization that they suck. We are in a freaking war zone people - move that hunk of metal out of the way and do it in the most expedient manner possible.
That being said - i had an "encounter" with an army major today as i was walking into the dining facility for lunch. My office-mate and I left for lunch at our normal time, drove my car to the dfac, and had to endure the grueling process of driving behind incompetent drivers. When we finally pull into the dining facility parking lot, I may or may not have started tailgating the car in front of me because he was literally going 2 miles per hour. There was no one around, and by this time i was frustrated at anyone who operated a vehicle in my viscinity. anyways, I may or may not have tailgated the guy until he pulled into a parking spot and then i pulled into one a couple of spots down from him. I walk into the dining facility with the driver of the car that i may or may not have been tailgating behind me. I wash my hands inside the dining facility and then open the door to the eating area...and that is when i come face to face with the guy that i "supposively" was tailgating. The guy does a quick look at my rank and then starts his rude rampage about how i was tailgating him and that he was doing nothing wrong. I literally shrugged my shoulders and said ok and kept moving. The army major then yelled "you think this is funny?" and i again shrugged my shoulders and said no and kept on walking. The major was a piece of work - short, slightly overweight, and just wanted to rip someone. I didnt want to talk to the individual, so i kept walking. Luckily the idiot didnt pursue me or want to keep talking about it...but the fact that he said something erked me for two reasons:
1. he didnt say anything the entire time he was walking behind me. I knew he was there; he had to know i was in front of him. but he had no clue what my rank was, so he wasnt going to say anything. Solidifies the fact that the army is completely rank oriented. what would the guy had done if i was a major? or a LtCol? what difference does it make that he outranked me?
2. the way he tried to assert his "superiority" over me once he realized how much bigger i was that him was ridiculous. i should have told him "Im sorry that you are short, slightly out of shape, and getting old; but get over it" and moved on. ug this guy was a serious piece of work.
That being said - i had an "encounter" with an army major today as i was walking into the dining facility for lunch. My office-mate and I left for lunch at our normal time, drove my car to the dfac, and had to endure the grueling process of driving behind incompetent drivers. When we finally pull into the dining facility parking lot, I may or may not have started tailgating the car in front of me because he was literally going 2 miles per hour. There was no one around, and by this time i was frustrated at anyone who operated a vehicle in my viscinity. anyways, I may or may not have tailgated the guy until he pulled into a parking spot and then i pulled into one a couple of spots down from him. I walk into the dining facility with the driver of the car that i may or may not have been tailgating behind me. I wash my hands inside the dining facility and then open the door to the eating area...and that is when i come face to face with the guy that i "supposively" was tailgating. The guy does a quick look at my rank and then starts his rude rampage about how i was tailgating him and that he was doing nothing wrong. I literally shrugged my shoulders and said ok and kept moving. The army major then yelled "you think this is funny?" and i again shrugged my shoulders and said no and kept on walking. The major was a piece of work - short, slightly overweight, and just wanted to rip someone. I didnt want to talk to the individual, so i kept walking. Luckily the idiot didnt pursue me or want to keep talking about it...but the fact that he said something erked me for two reasons:
1. he didnt say anything the entire time he was walking behind me. I knew he was there; he had to know i was in front of him. but he had no clue what my rank was, so he wasnt going to say anything. Solidifies the fact that the army is completely rank oriented. what would the guy had done if i was a major? or a LtCol? what difference does it make that he outranked me?
2. the way he tried to assert his "superiority" over me once he realized how much bigger i was that him was ridiculous. i should have told him "Im sorry that you are short, slightly out of shape, and getting old; but get over it" and moved on. ug this guy was a serious piece of work.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Lady Gaga and Electricity
Today's post will have two stories that are completely unrelated to each other.
1) Yesterday, a couple of friends and I were invited to a little get together/bbq to celebrate another friend's bday. Personally, I will take every opportunity I can to get out of eating at the dining facility (cafeteria style food is never good. they cook quantity, not quality). Anyways, we show up and just hang out while we wait for the food to finish cooking. No big deal. One of the higher-ups throwing the party starts talking and directs us to his laptop, where he says we have to watch a music video that he swears is the best thing out there. Much to my amazement, the music video he wants us to watch is the latest Lady Gaga video "Telephone." First , what old-guy listens to lady gaga/likes her music/knows who she is? Well, we start watching the video. its entertaining, but even more entertaining was the old guy. He knew ever word to the lyrics! every word to the music video! and he even knew the dances! WOW. who would have thought that a man who sort of resembles santa clause could bust a move like lady gaga. my friends and i are too stunned to know what to do. i could feel myself and my friends tensing up in awkwardness because we had no clue how to take this. And if you guys have seen the video, you know it isn't your typical music video...and it lasts for 10-ish minutes! AWKWARD!!!
2) be careful when you travel to a different country and try plugging something into the wall. other countries do not have the same voltage output as our sockets, so things go boom. A friend of mine may or may not have completely melted her curling iron the first day in country. Every time i plug my computer into the wall (which has a built in surge protector and regulator) a huge spark flies out of the socket. I know one of these days that shock is going to get me...
1) Yesterday, a couple of friends and I were invited to a little get together/bbq to celebrate another friend's bday. Personally, I will take every opportunity I can to get out of eating at the dining facility (cafeteria style food is never good. they cook quantity, not quality). Anyways, we show up and just hang out while we wait for the food to finish cooking. No big deal. One of the higher-ups throwing the party starts talking and directs us to his laptop, where he says we have to watch a music video that he swears is the best thing out there. Much to my amazement, the music video he wants us to watch is the latest Lady Gaga video "Telephone." First , what old-guy listens to lady gaga/likes her music/knows who she is? Well, we start watching the video. its entertaining, but even more entertaining was the old guy. He knew ever word to the lyrics! every word to the music video! and he even knew the dances! WOW. who would have thought that a man who sort of resembles santa clause could bust a move like lady gaga. my friends and i are too stunned to know what to do. i could feel myself and my friends tensing up in awkwardness because we had no clue how to take this. And if you guys have seen the video, you know it isn't your typical music video...and it lasts for 10-ish minutes! AWKWARD!!!
2) be careful when you travel to a different country and try plugging something into the wall. other countries do not have the same voltage output as our sockets, so things go boom. A friend of mine may or may not have completely melted her curling iron the first day in country. Every time i plug my computer into the wall (which has a built in surge protector and regulator) a huge spark flies out of the socket. I know one of these days that shock is going to get me...
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Relaxation!
Today was the best day of this trip to the desert. You know the old saying of when the cat is away, the mouse will play? well, my commander had to go tdy for the next couple of days and left all of us alone. it was great! we worked hard in the morning, and then relaxed for the rest of the day. I went to the pool, had a bbq, watched a movie, and caught up on some other work that was not desert related. Talk about a nice day! I need more days like today if i am to survive for the next five months! (yup, 5 more months. 1 down = whoo-hoo!)
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Half Marathon, Old Friend, and Words of Wisdom
I have officially been out of the US of A for more than 1 month. The time seems to fly when you look back on it, but i am not going to complain!
Today I participated in a Half Marathon competition. I decided to do it the smart way with a team, vs trying to do the entire thing by myself. I dont think it would have been bad - but i have learned over the past four weeks that the organized runs out here never have enough water/aid stations to support the participants. You would think that they would be able to have more people out there helping hand out water...and you really need a lot of water because the heat is cranking up...but there still is only limited aid stations to support us. not so much fun. My team finished in the top ten for the entire base, which was awesome; but a couple of solo runners beat us. oh well...life goes on.
While i was on the run, i bumped into an old classmate of mine. Kevin Goulding cross commissioned into the army upon graduation, and is stationed out here for the next couple of weeks. He is getting ready to head home (lucky!) and so it was great to see him out here. He was one of the solo runners that my team overtook in the last hundred yards of the race - but still one heck of a job for Kevin! (pictures were taken, lets home the internet decides to cooperate and work this time around...)
On another note = when you create a document and submit it to the higher ups, make sure you bring a copy of what you made to the meeting in which that document will be briefed. Sometimes someone will make changes to your document and not tell you, then proceed to brief it even though there are inaccuracies listed on it. If you have the printout of what you emailed, then you cant be pinned for stating something wrong. This may or may not have happened to me...and i may or may not have printed off the original email before the meeting. But I will say that i was able to cover my butt at all meetings this past week. Good times!
Today I participated in a Half Marathon competition. I decided to do it the smart way with a team, vs trying to do the entire thing by myself. I dont think it would have been bad - but i have learned over the past four weeks that the organized runs out here never have enough water/aid stations to support the participants. You would think that they would be able to have more people out there helping hand out water...and you really need a lot of water because the heat is cranking up...but there still is only limited aid stations to support us. not so much fun. My team finished in the top ten for the entire base, which was awesome; but a couple of solo runners beat us. oh well...life goes on.
While i was on the run, i bumped into an old classmate of mine. Kevin Goulding cross commissioned into the army upon graduation, and is stationed out here for the next couple of weeks. He is getting ready to head home (lucky!) and so it was great to see him out here. He was one of the solo runners that my team overtook in the last hundred yards of the race - but still one heck of a job for Kevin! (pictures were taken, lets home the internet decides to cooperate and work this time around...)
On another note = when you create a document and submit it to the higher ups, make sure you bring a copy of what you made to the meeting in which that document will be briefed. Sometimes someone will make changes to your document and not tell you, then proceed to brief it even though there are inaccuracies listed on it. If you have the printout of what you emailed, then you cant be pinned for stating something wrong. This may or may not have happened to me...and i may or may not have printed off the original email before the meeting. But I will say that i was able to cover my butt at all meetings this past week. Good times!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Battle Rhythm, Col's from SW Texas, and Death by PowerPoint
Whelp, i am kinda getting into the swing of things out here. my "battle rhythm" is coming together. everyday i wake up early and head to the office by 0545. A group of us meets up before driving over to the dfac for breakfast around 730. We eat from 730-830. Then back to the office till lunch around 1230. Eat lunch till 1330. Then back to work. I head over to the gym around 1530 till about 1700, then dinner, and then back in the office by 1800. work until 2200ish, and then go to bed. All throughout the day there are meetings (which help break up the monotony of the office) and there are always random things that come up...but all in all it is pretty easy to follow.
For the past three days i have had to sit in on a conference with about 60 other people as we talk about the transition between phases of a large contract i am working on out here. Everyone who is anyone important attended...there was one particular leader that sat on the "big boys table" who made the entire conference worth it. Dont kid yourself = the conference was boring, but this guy had comments! he had questions and comments about everything! and the things that came out of his mouth were noteworthy. here are a few of my favorite:
- Infinity Important!!!
- Heaven forbid if we have to go back and dig fox holes...
- Praise the Lord! (on numerous occasions)
- Billions and Billions and Billions.
- wipe your butt
- The army needs to go back to Army 101 (keep in mind that he is an Army Col)
- Simple. If it aint that simple, we need to make it that simple. it is just simple.
- Did someone set up a communist organization overnight? (Are you kidding me?!?!?!)
- Y'all aint walking the dog; the dog's walking y'all
- We are going back to MRE's, washing soucks in a bucket, drinking bottled water, and baby wipes.
- No shit?
Tying in with the three day lectures - i was tortured by non-stop powerpoint presentations. at least the projector made the screen large enough for all 60 peeps to be able to read what was being talking about. one overall comment on the presentations and ppt : Do not send someone to give a presentation that cant speak in a mic and do not put a million words on the slides. one of my friends out here sent me this link after we survived the conference: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/27/world/27powerpoint.html?no_interstitial
For the past three days i have had to sit in on a conference with about 60 other people as we talk about the transition between phases of a large contract i am working on out here. Everyone who is anyone important attended...there was one particular leader that sat on the "big boys table" who made the entire conference worth it. Dont kid yourself = the conference was boring, but this guy had comments! he had questions and comments about everything! and the things that came out of his mouth were noteworthy. here are a few of my favorite:
- Infinity Important!!!
- Heaven forbid if we have to go back and dig fox holes...
- Praise the Lord! (on numerous occasions)
- Billions and Billions and Billions.
- wipe your butt
- The army needs to go back to Army 101 (keep in mind that he is an Army Col)
- Simple. If it aint that simple, we need to make it that simple. it is just simple.
- Did someone set up a communist organization overnight? (Are you kidding me?!?!?!)
- Y'all aint walking the dog; the dog's walking y'all
- We are going back to MRE's, washing soucks in a bucket, drinking bottled water, and baby wipes.
- No shit?
Tying in with the three day lectures - i was tortured by non-stop powerpoint presentations. at least the projector made the screen large enough for all 60 peeps to be able to read what was being talking about. one overall comment on the presentations and ppt : Do not send someone to give a presentation that cant speak in a mic and do not put a million words on the slides. one of my friends out here sent me this link after we survived the conference: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/27/world/27powerpoint.html?no_interstitial
Friday, April 23, 2010
Reviewing Documents
I had an interesting meeting yesterday with my fellow coworkers and supervisors, including my commander. Every month we have to do a review of what transpired the previous month - which shouldnt be that hard because everything that happened in the past is in the past and you just have to report about it. Well, unlucky for me, i wasnt out here last month so i didnt know what to report about. I found a couple of older reports and mirrored mine after them, so i can honestly say i gave it the good old college try. well, i had to turn the report in a couple of days before the actual due date so that my supt could review it before it went up to the commander. No problem with doing this, it makes perfect sense. The guy read it, made some comments, i corrected some things, and sent it back into him. no big deal, right? hmmm...
it wasnt as bad as it could have been. The commander cut me some slack because it was the first time i had done anything remotely close to these reports and i wasnt even here for the reporting period. But there were things that erked me that my supervisor should have told me - like format issues, attachments, whole slides that should have been included, and other misc data that i should have gotten from person x. Im sorry - but what was the point in sending it to the supervisor in the first place if he wasnt going to tell me that i was missing some major things? I could have sent it to one of my coworkers and they would have told me about the right things...but the supervisor specifically wanted me to send it to him. FRUSTRATING. and then the guy had the gall to say did you get that memo? honestly!?!? Are we living in the freaking movie Office Space? and to top it off, i had two reports! (at least i knew i had to do two reports, nevermind the fact that both of them were missing the same things and had the same format issues!)
needless to say, when you submit something to someone for review and they review it, it should be good to go. Dont throw the new guy under the bus in front of the commander...lesson learned: ask coworkers before sending things to the supervisor!
On another note - the internet connectivity is so slow out here that it takes forever to upload pictures. I tried to upload a couple last night, but after 30 minutes i gave up and went to bed...someway I am going to get pictures up...
it wasnt as bad as it could have been. The commander cut me some slack because it was the first time i had done anything remotely close to these reports and i wasnt even here for the reporting period. But there were things that erked me that my supervisor should have told me - like format issues, attachments, whole slides that should have been included, and other misc data that i should have gotten from person x. Im sorry - but what was the point in sending it to the supervisor in the first place if he wasnt going to tell me that i was missing some major things? I could have sent it to one of my coworkers and they would have told me about the right things...but the supervisor specifically wanted me to send it to him. FRUSTRATING. and then the guy had the gall to say did you get that memo? honestly!?!? Are we living in the freaking movie Office Space? and to top it off, i had two reports! (at least i knew i had to do two reports, nevermind the fact that both of them were missing the same things and had the same format issues!)
needless to say, when you submit something to someone for review and they review it, it should be good to go. Dont throw the new guy under the bus in front of the commander...lesson learned: ask coworkers before sending things to the supervisor!
On another note - the internet connectivity is so slow out here that it takes forever to upload pictures. I tried to upload a couple last night, but after 30 minutes i gave up and went to bed...someway I am going to get pictures up...
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